Relationship #1

Looking back, I can see where I could have done better.

The beginning

I kicked him out because I found out about his extracurricular activities. I had four years clean and sober. He was supposed to be clean and sober…

I found out about his lack of responsibility and the depth of his lies and omissions.

We had given him the money for the bills, why weren’t they paid? This question rolled around in my head like a super ball stuck in a pinball machine.

I ended up having a mental break down. My Mom went to the first nursing home and I went to a drug rehab.

I guess there was no room in a mental hospital or whatever, so they sent me to rehab.

I was there for a couple of months, maybe three. I would have been released sooner, but I had no where to go. I had no income, no home, and no family or friends willing to take me in.

Red flags:

  • Went to work long before sun up, came home long after sun down, and people knocking on the door at all hours seven days a week.
  • Whenever plans were made, he forgot about them.
  • I never saw receipts or bills
  • Complaints about not spending time together, but he was always as busy as I was.
  • Complaints about money but nothing substantial.

First came the complaints about not spending time together. What he really wanted was for me to watch movies with him and have sex with him. Sex had fallen off because I didn’t feel close to him. I didn’t want to have sex with someone I didn’t feel close to. This is what caused the complaints about spending time together.

My question is: why couldn’t he help me with what I was doing?

Anyway, that led into him forgetting plans, not having time to do things around the house, and complaints about a lack of money but nothing substantial. When I did the math, using numbers he gave me, the bills were covered with a bit extra for other things.

This led to him working all the time. When I threw him out, I had to wait until eleven at night for him to get his things off the porch. He left at four am that morning.

These were his normal hours.

He could never find the bills when I wanted to look at them. He could never find any receipts.

Lessons learned

  • Partner should be able to show bills and receipts
  • Partner should not be constantly working
  • Partner should not forget plans.

My mistakes:

  • Rushing into the relationship.
  • Not being responsible before getting into relationship
  • Not being emotionally mature before getting into relationship.

By Jen Christopherson

Jenna (Jen) Christopherson is a person of dreams, realistic and extraordinary. Her favorite hobby is to read and her passion for writing is unparalleled. As a child, she read a library and then wrote a library.

"In the heart of what is good there is a storm of sinister proportion." As said by the very same.

Nothing is without balance.

Josh Prugle